Most nights after I put the kids to bed, I try and pack Wayne's lunch for him for work the next day and straighten up the house. I hate nothing more than waking up to a messy house full of disorder and clutter. It sets my whole mood way off if I feel like my day starts with me having to clean up a mess right from the get go. Tonight was no different in what I did, however it was extremely different in nature.
After I loaded the dishwasher, I felt the Lord telling me to just stop and worship. I had Hillsong playing on my iTunes set on a dock and decided I would do just that. I skipped to the next song, which is a song that really ministers to me and that I hadn't heard in a while. As I stood there singing in the kitchen, worshipping my Lord and Savior, nothing could've ministered more to me in that moment. Tears were streaming down as I felt the love of the Lord overwhelm me, thinking about how good and gracious he has been to me. I saw how he pulled me out of the deep pit that I had allowed myself to be in for so many years and how he has set me free. Half way into the song I saw in the spirit Jesus standing right beside me. I couldn't see his body but saw his shadow in my mind, and he was so pleased with my worship, taking it in. Knowing and seeing that took my breath away, all I could do is cry and wondered I bet this is a glimpse of what heaven must be like, full of love, awe, wonder and so encamped by his love that it completely captivates you.
I knew he was there! I tried to sing but the words came out sporadically. I was so afraid to open my eyes; afraid that I would miss out on the moment and afraid that he would be gone. A few moments later I decided to open my eyes, and sure enough he wasn't there, at least not physically. Part of my heart was disappointed; disappointed because I had wanted to see him with my physical eyes , but the other part of my heart was rejoicing in the fact that nothing had felt more real to me than knowing and seeing in the spiritual realm that he was there.
I say all of this not to brag about my experience but to share with you that he IS there and he really does inhabit the praises of his people!! God is always there waiting for us to tune into his frequency and speak truths to us, set us free, minister to us and show us himself and his love in real and tangible ways. He is NO respecter of persons. He doesn't play favorites and wants to make himself known to you in a real, intimate and personal way; a way that will speak and minister to you only. I want to encourage you at some point this week to really tune into the Lord. Turn off all the noise, distractions, busyness and just be with him. Clear your mind of all the condemnation and guilt and let him show you how he truly feels about you, that he is absolutely in love with you and isn't judging you. His arms are open wide, his love is unending, he stands at the door and knocks. Will you answer the cry of your heart and let him in?
Below is the song that helped me enter in and spoke to my heart. Maybe it will do the same for you!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/sDIuFrdKiXg"
This blog was created to challenge our way of thinking, the way we perceive things, and to ultimately point us towards God. In reading my blog, I challenge you to step outside of your normal way of thinking, expect to see the goodnes of God, to possibly see things in a new light, and to not be limited to our own perceptions.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Simply Being
This last week has been challenging for me mentally. Normally I feel like I have a pretty good handle on things and can easily cast my cares upon the Lord, but this week in particular has had a lot of things stirring in my heart. For anyone who knows me, or that follows my blogs, knows that in the past, I have been a bit of a control freak...ok, maybe a lot of a control freak. Being a control freak is more than just wanting everything done right but a lot of it stems from pride and thinking that I can do it and my way is the best way, most women can attest to this when it comes to their husbands and the way they do things!
Last year the Lord really dealt with me about my issues of control and not completely trusting him. I was put into situations where I had no other choice but to let go and trust God with my marriage, my kids, our finances and my eating habits. With all that, I thought I was done going through the pruning of all that, wouldn't you? Well, I guess I was wrong and there are still some deep seeded roots that need to be pulled up! Through a few different circumstances the last couple of months, I am realizing that parts of me still want to be in control. When it comes to my relationships, I have a hard time not allowing my emotions to get too involved and attached. I try and speak the truth in love or share what I believe the Lord is showing me, but then when it comes to those people making a decision, I find myself feeling disappointed when they don't make the clear, obvious choice.
I do not want the burden or responsibility of being someone else's Holy Spirit. I have come a long way in that, but I don't know how to not cross certain boundaries, especially when someone has given me so much access into their lives, asks for my advice and/or help. I see so many people, especially Christians that are "saved and stuck," living way below the life that God has for them, and it's so hard to watch people barely making it, not fully understanding who they are in Christ, what they have because of him and that if they would stop being scared and truly seek/follow God that they would live with such passion, joy, peace, and abundance that they would never settle for mediocrity again!
Yesterday I was praying and asking the Lord to help me understand why I often feel this way and his response to me was "This is just a small glimpse of how I feel. I have great and amazing plans for people, but they limit me and live life trying to fulfill things that I never created them to fulfill. They walk down paths that I never intended them to walk down, pursue the wrong dreams, and never truly seek ME! They gamble with their lives, and would take a greater risk on their lives or playing the lottery then they would at following me."
I don't want to gamble my life away by pursuing my own hopes and dreams, and I hate seeing other people do the same. With that said, I am letting go of the control once again. I have learned that I can not make people see things they don't want to see, go in ways they do not wish to go, and do things they do not wish to do. I will speak truth, love others but I will not let their actions or lack thereof disappoint me. What people choose to do or not do is up to them and if they decide to take the road less traveled, I will welcome them with open arms just as if they choose to take the road that's traveled on by many. I will not try and control others nor will I let my emotions control me. I will just simply be...period.
Last year the Lord really dealt with me about my issues of control and not completely trusting him. I was put into situations where I had no other choice but to let go and trust God with my marriage, my kids, our finances and my eating habits. With all that, I thought I was done going through the pruning of all that, wouldn't you? Well, I guess I was wrong and there are still some deep seeded roots that need to be pulled up! Through a few different circumstances the last couple of months, I am realizing that parts of me still want to be in control. When it comes to my relationships, I have a hard time not allowing my emotions to get too involved and attached. I try and speak the truth in love or share what I believe the Lord is showing me, but then when it comes to those people making a decision, I find myself feeling disappointed when they don't make the clear, obvious choice.
I do not want the burden or responsibility of being someone else's Holy Spirit. I have come a long way in that, but I don't know how to not cross certain boundaries, especially when someone has given me so much access into their lives, asks for my advice and/or help. I see so many people, especially Christians that are "saved and stuck," living way below the life that God has for them, and it's so hard to watch people barely making it, not fully understanding who they are in Christ, what they have because of him and that if they would stop being scared and truly seek/follow God that they would live with such passion, joy, peace, and abundance that they would never settle for mediocrity again!
Yesterday I was praying and asking the Lord to help me understand why I often feel this way and his response to me was "This is just a small glimpse of how I feel. I have great and amazing plans for people, but they limit me and live life trying to fulfill things that I never created them to fulfill. They walk down paths that I never intended them to walk down, pursue the wrong dreams, and never truly seek ME! They gamble with their lives, and would take a greater risk on their lives or playing the lottery then they would at following me."
I don't want to gamble my life away by pursuing my own hopes and dreams, and I hate seeing other people do the same. With that said, I am letting go of the control once again. I have learned that I can not make people see things they don't want to see, go in ways they do not wish to go, and do things they do not wish to do. I will speak truth, love others but I will not let their actions or lack thereof disappoint me. What people choose to do or not do is up to them and if they decide to take the road less traveled, I will welcome them with open arms just as if they choose to take the road that's traveled on by many. I will not try and control others nor will I let my emotions control me. I will just simply be...period.
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