Forgiveness...A Hard Pill to Swallow

Forgiveness and humility...what does it really mean and look like in everyday life? I got a very good picture of that last night from my 7 year old son.

Josiah, my oldest son, is such a good boy and blessing from the Lord, he really does have such a beautiful heart, is kind to everyone, is my "social butterfly," and shows me everyday what loving others looks like. With that said, he is also so much like me, sometimes it drives me crazy. He has a very strong personality, is very vocal in how he feels and what his beliefs are that it can sometimes come across the wrong way. I get that in him, but sometimes because we are both so vocal, it can cause disagreements, arguments and hard feelings because we both want to be right in a situation. He has a hard time submitting to what I say sometimes, maybe it's because of his strong will, or maybe it's also because of the innate desire God has placed in all boys/men to lead and be in control? Whatever the reason, we sometimes "butt heads," and last night was one of those nights.

Last night I told Josiah to do something that he just didn't want to do. He, not wanting to, made it very obvious and vocal that he didn't want to. It wasn't something big, and I could've let it go, but I didn't. I have felt very disrespected lately and so I was trying to "stand my ground" if you will by not giving in and letting him get his way. Minutes later he came out crying and explaining to me why he didn't want to do what I asked him to do. I had already had a long day, was feeling very hormonal and tired and just snapped. I said things that I shouldn't have said to him, and it reminded me a lot of my childhood. In that moment, I said things I wish I could now take back. I know first hand how badly words hurt, how they can cut deeper than a knife, are very hard to forget and can scar you for a lifetime. I immediately began feeling like I deserved the "worst mother of the year award," feeling condemned and just horrible inside. Hearing him cry out of that hurt place just made it even more painful for the both of us.

So, I did what I thought I should do. I crawled up in his bed, sobbing, asking the Lord under my breath to forgive me and to please help/change me because I do not want to be the person and say the things my parents spoke over me. I then proceeded to talk to him about forgiveness and that we need to forgive those people that have hurt us, including me! Btw, that's a hard pill to swallow when u have to humble yourself and ask your child for forgiveness. He then started telling me about all the people that have hurt, done or said mean things to him. It broke my heart. He then looked at me and said "Mommy, I forgive you!" and gave me a big hug. Next he proceeded to pray for all the people that have said or done anything that's hurt him. His prayer went like this:

"God, I forgive all the people that have ever hurt me. I ask that you would bless them, that you would help them to have a good school year this year and that you would give them everything they need. In Jesus name, amen!"

Talk about humility! Wow! My 7 year old not only forgave those people, but asked the Lord to bless them and supply their needs...things I'm not sure sometimes I would be able to pray. In that moment, he showed me in the flesh what forgiveness really looks like, the way Jesus forgave us and blesses us in spite of the way we treat him, the way we think he is, and the things we say to him when we don't get our way. I went in there trying to teach him something about the Lord and forgiveness, but he ended up teaching me something much more valuable and humbling me beyond words. May we always keep our hearts humbled, be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and have that childlike faith that can overlook a matter and just love others, accepting them and their faults.