2012 has been a very productive year, a year that has indeed been a year of harvest as the Lord had spoken to me at the end of 2011, but also a year full of many changes, trials, growth, discomfort, surrendering, and we have had to do things I never thought we would have to do.
One year ago today on New Years Eve I felt the Lord telling me to submit myself to him and my husband, something I have really struggled with in the past. The last day of 2011 ended with me literally submitting myself to my husband and God, washing his feet, repenting of not letting him lead our family and letting go of the last little bit of control I had been hanging on to. Little did I know that In doing so, the Lord was going to ask me to submit myself to him and Wayne a lot during the coming year.
The very next week Wayne got laid off from work and I needed to submit myself, our family, finances and everything to the Lord and let Wayne lead us down a new path, trusting his vision for us and that he was hearing from the Lord, which would involve him starting his own business, trusting God to supply all our needs and to give Wayne an abundance of work.
The Lord provided in so many ways. He provided for us financially; proving his word to me that Wayne would go from having no work to so much work that he wouldn't know what to do, provided a trip back home to VA to give me closure and allow me to hug the necks of those whom I'd been missing, provided me with spiritual food to grow, new friends, tangible ways for me to see His love and has made me thankful for so many things in my life.
In 2012 I got to go to a women's retreat with women back home who are very dear to my heart, went on many hikes, went to Breckenridge with my family and soaked up every moment with them, took Josiah and Micah to the Broncos Training Camp, witnessed my children grow, mature, and change, Micah lost his first tooth, made a weekly tradition of pizza/movie night with my boys, witnessed Josiah spraining his ankle and seeing it healed, had many "aha" moments, many phone conversations with friends and family, had some disagreements and some people misunderstanding me, Wayne finally started Bible College, had the loss of some friendships and the beginning of new one's, received dreams, visions and words from the Lord, lots of refocusing and late night talks with my hubby about our dreams/vision for our life, finally found a church that feels like home, LOTS of playing and watching football, weekly trips to the library, experienced IKEA for the first time ;), had many warm summer nights grilling out and cold winter nights snuggling and drinking hot chocolate. Overall 2012 has been a good year! It has been a year full of many changes, many harvests (spiritually, financially and mentally). The year may not have started out like I'd planned, but in the end the things we experienced were part of Gods plan to set us up for an even better 2013 and future!!
2013 is the year of the inconceivable, a year when God does things we can't even fathom, full of many blessings and our minds being blown, limitations will be taken off, new experiences are awaiting us and any year spent with the Lord and following his leading is sure to be an amazing one! So long 2012. Welcome 2013!
This blog was created to challenge our way of thinking, the way we perceive things, and to ultimately point us towards God. In reading my blog, I challenge you to step outside of your normal way of thinking, expect to see the goodnes of God, to possibly see things in a new light, and to not be limited to our own perceptions.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Unending Love
Most nights after I put the kids to bed, I try and pack Wayne's lunch for him for work the next day and straighten up the house. I hate nothing more than waking up to a messy house full of disorder and clutter. It sets my whole mood way off if I feel like my day starts with me having to clean up a mess right from the get go. Tonight was no different in what I did, however it was extremely different in nature.
After I loaded the dishwasher, I felt the Lord telling me to just stop and worship. I had Hillsong playing on my iTunes set on a dock and decided I would do just that. I skipped to the next song, which is a song that really ministers to me and that I hadn't heard in a while. As I stood there singing in the kitchen, worshipping my Lord and Savior, nothing could've ministered more to me in that moment. Tears were streaming down as I felt the love of the Lord overwhelm me, thinking about how good and gracious he has been to me. I saw how he pulled me out of the deep pit that I had allowed myself to be in for so many years and how he has set me free. Half way into the song I saw in the spirit Jesus standing right beside me. I couldn't see his body but saw his shadow in my mind, and he was so pleased with my worship, taking it in. Knowing and seeing that took my breath away, all I could do is cry and wondered I bet this is a glimpse of what heaven must be like, full of love, awe, wonder and so encamped by his love that it completely captivates you.
I knew he was there! I tried to sing but the words came out sporadically. I was so afraid to open my eyes; afraid that I would miss out on the moment and afraid that he would be gone. A few moments later I decided to open my eyes, and sure enough he wasn't there, at least not physically. Part of my heart was disappointed; disappointed because I had wanted to see him with my physical eyes , but the other part of my heart was rejoicing in the fact that nothing had felt more real to me than knowing and seeing in the spiritual realm that he was there.
I say all of this not to brag about my experience but to share with you that he IS there and he really does inhabit the praises of his people!! God is always there waiting for us to tune into his frequency and speak truths to us, set us free, minister to us and show us himself and his love in real and tangible ways. He is NO respecter of persons. He doesn't play favorites and wants to make himself known to you in a real, intimate and personal way; a way that will speak and minister to you only. I want to encourage you at some point this week to really tune into the Lord. Turn off all the noise, distractions, busyness and just be with him. Clear your mind of all the condemnation and guilt and let him show you how he truly feels about you, that he is absolutely in love with you and isn't judging you. His arms are open wide, his love is unending, he stands at the door and knocks. Will you answer the cry of your heart and let him in?
Below is the song that helped me enter in and spoke to my heart. Maybe it will do the same for you!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/sDIuFrdKiXg"
After I loaded the dishwasher, I felt the Lord telling me to just stop and worship. I had Hillsong playing on my iTunes set on a dock and decided I would do just that. I skipped to the next song, which is a song that really ministers to me and that I hadn't heard in a while. As I stood there singing in the kitchen, worshipping my Lord and Savior, nothing could've ministered more to me in that moment. Tears were streaming down as I felt the love of the Lord overwhelm me, thinking about how good and gracious he has been to me. I saw how he pulled me out of the deep pit that I had allowed myself to be in for so many years and how he has set me free. Half way into the song I saw in the spirit Jesus standing right beside me. I couldn't see his body but saw his shadow in my mind, and he was so pleased with my worship, taking it in. Knowing and seeing that took my breath away, all I could do is cry and wondered I bet this is a glimpse of what heaven must be like, full of love, awe, wonder and so encamped by his love that it completely captivates you.
I knew he was there! I tried to sing but the words came out sporadically. I was so afraid to open my eyes; afraid that I would miss out on the moment and afraid that he would be gone. A few moments later I decided to open my eyes, and sure enough he wasn't there, at least not physically. Part of my heart was disappointed; disappointed because I had wanted to see him with my physical eyes , but the other part of my heart was rejoicing in the fact that nothing had felt more real to me than knowing and seeing in the spiritual realm that he was there.
I say all of this not to brag about my experience but to share with you that he IS there and he really does inhabit the praises of his people!! God is always there waiting for us to tune into his frequency and speak truths to us, set us free, minister to us and show us himself and his love in real and tangible ways. He is NO respecter of persons. He doesn't play favorites and wants to make himself known to you in a real, intimate and personal way; a way that will speak and minister to you only. I want to encourage you at some point this week to really tune into the Lord. Turn off all the noise, distractions, busyness and just be with him. Clear your mind of all the condemnation and guilt and let him show you how he truly feels about you, that he is absolutely in love with you and isn't judging you. His arms are open wide, his love is unending, he stands at the door and knocks. Will you answer the cry of your heart and let him in?
Below is the song that helped me enter in and spoke to my heart. Maybe it will do the same for you!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/sDIuFrdKiXg"
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Simply Being
This last week has been challenging for me mentally. Normally I feel like I have a pretty good handle on things and can easily cast my cares upon the Lord, but this week in particular has had a lot of things stirring in my heart. For anyone who knows me, or that follows my blogs, knows that in the past, I have been a bit of a control freak...ok, maybe a lot of a control freak. Being a control freak is more than just wanting everything done right but a lot of it stems from pride and thinking that I can do it and my way is the best way, most women can attest to this when it comes to their husbands and the way they do things!
Last year the Lord really dealt with me about my issues of control and not completely trusting him. I was put into situations where I had no other choice but to let go and trust God with my marriage, my kids, our finances and my eating habits. With all that, I thought I was done going through the pruning of all that, wouldn't you? Well, I guess I was wrong and there are still some deep seeded roots that need to be pulled up! Through a few different circumstances the last couple of months, I am realizing that parts of me still want to be in control. When it comes to my relationships, I have a hard time not allowing my emotions to get too involved and attached. I try and speak the truth in love or share what I believe the Lord is showing me, but then when it comes to those people making a decision, I find myself feeling disappointed when they don't make the clear, obvious choice.
I do not want the burden or responsibility of being someone else's Holy Spirit. I have come a long way in that, but I don't know how to not cross certain boundaries, especially when someone has given me so much access into their lives, asks for my advice and/or help. I see so many people, especially Christians that are "saved and stuck," living way below the life that God has for them, and it's so hard to watch people barely making it, not fully understanding who they are in Christ, what they have because of him and that if they would stop being scared and truly seek/follow God that they would live with such passion, joy, peace, and abundance that they would never settle for mediocrity again!
Yesterday I was praying and asking the Lord to help me understand why I often feel this way and his response to me was "This is just a small glimpse of how I feel. I have great and amazing plans for people, but they limit me and live life trying to fulfill things that I never created them to fulfill. They walk down paths that I never intended them to walk down, pursue the wrong dreams, and never truly seek ME! They gamble with their lives, and would take a greater risk on their lives or playing the lottery then they would at following me."
I don't want to gamble my life away by pursuing my own hopes and dreams, and I hate seeing other people do the same. With that said, I am letting go of the control once again. I have learned that I can not make people see things they don't want to see, go in ways they do not wish to go, and do things they do not wish to do. I will speak truth, love others but I will not let their actions or lack thereof disappoint me. What people choose to do or not do is up to them and if they decide to take the road less traveled, I will welcome them with open arms just as if they choose to take the road that's traveled on by many. I will not try and control others nor will I let my emotions control me. I will just simply be...period.
Last year the Lord really dealt with me about my issues of control and not completely trusting him. I was put into situations where I had no other choice but to let go and trust God with my marriage, my kids, our finances and my eating habits. With all that, I thought I was done going through the pruning of all that, wouldn't you? Well, I guess I was wrong and there are still some deep seeded roots that need to be pulled up! Through a few different circumstances the last couple of months, I am realizing that parts of me still want to be in control. When it comes to my relationships, I have a hard time not allowing my emotions to get too involved and attached. I try and speak the truth in love or share what I believe the Lord is showing me, but then when it comes to those people making a decision, I find myself feeling disappointed when they don't make the clear, obvious choice.
I do not want the burden or responsibility of being someone else's Holy Spirit. I have come a long way in that, but I don't know how to not cross certain boundaries, especially when someone has given me so much access into their lives, asks for my advice and/or help. I see so many people, especially Christians that are "saved and stuck," living way below the life that God has for them, and it's so hard to watch people barely making it, not fully understanding who they are in Christ, what they have because of him and that if they would stop being scared and truly seek/follow God that they would live with such passion, joy, peace, and abundance that they would never settle for mediocrity again!
Yesterday I was praying and asking the Lord to help me understand why I often feel this way and his response to me was "This is just a small glimpse of how I feel. I have great and amazing plans for people, but they limit me and live life trying to fulfill things that I never created them to fulfill. They walk down paths that I never intended them to walk down, pursue the wrong dreams, and never truly seek ME! They gamble with their lives, and would take a greater risk on their lives or playing the lottery then they would at following me."
I don't want to gamble my life away by pursuing my own hopes and dreams, and I hate seeing other people do the same. With that said, I am letting go of the control once again. I have learned that I can not make people see things they don't want to see, go in ways they do not wish to go, and do things they do not wish to do. I will speak truth, love others but I will not let their actions or lack thereof disappoint me. What people choose to do or not do is up to them and if they decide to take the road less traveled, I will welcome them with open arms just as if they choose to take the road that's traveled on by many. I will not try and control others nor will I let my emotions control me. I will just simply be...period.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Do Everything as Unto the Lord
Ok. So I have been wanting to write about the topic of being a sahm for quite some time now and am finally feeling the release to do so. Let me throw out a disclaimer: What I am about to write may step on some toes. It is in no way, shape, or form any means to judge, criticize or condemn anyone, but to offer a different perspective.
Being a sahm is no easy task for anyone, and I'd venture to say it's not everyone's cup of tea. I love being a sahm...well, most of the time, and it has it's challenges like anything else. I use to look at staying at home as a tedious, never ending, thankless job that involved me doing the same thing day in and day out, over and over and over again with nothing to look forward to. Since moving to CO, I have found a new perspective in so many areas, this being one of them. Staying at home isn't just something we do, it is a huge way we can minister to our families! I am in no way claiming to have it all together, anyone who really knows me can vouch for that, but what I am claiming is that there is, and could possibly be, another way of looking at this thing we do as women, wives, mothers, caretakers and homemakers.
Growing up, cleanliness was next to Godliness in my house. I was taught that everything had a proper place. To this day I still follow that, it was just engrained into me, but now I do it for different reasons. I feel that being a sahm is a privilege. I am very thankful that the Lord has given me the opportunity to do so and that my husband works his butt off so that I can stay at home. With that said, I believe it is my responsibility to not only stay at home, but to make my house a home. A home that is warm and welcoming, free of clutter, messes everywhere u turn, a place my husband can come home to and truly relax after a hard days work and doesn't have to be concerned with the things of the home. I stay at home, and that's the least I can do to not only be a good steward of the things and responsibilities the Lord has given me but to also show my husband that I love him, value him and appreciate all the hard work he does. I'm no Mary Poppins, but I do believe that as a homemaker and caretaker, my #1 priority (other than to God) is to truly take care of the one's, and the things I have, to show the Lord I can be faithful in the little things and that I don't take those things lightly or for granted.
I think simply what it boils down to is priorities and perspective. Lots of sahm's would rather hang out with friends or go shopping, and those things are fine in moderation, but I don't feel that they are productive or that they should be our main concern or priority. If we have spent all day hanging out, shopping or whatever, we are not using our time wisely, we are being careless in our efforts and what do we have to show for it? We are living in a home and most of the time a life that is dysfunctional, out of sorts, chaotic, has no rhyme or reason to anything and where we just fly on the tail of our shirt everyday. Our lives and homes need to be a place that if the Lord were to walk in, we wouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed of the way we have taken care of things. Granted, we don't need to be sticklers and be overly concerned, but we do need to make it a top priority just as we do our time with the Lord. I'm not saying things need to be spotless and you need to be a drill Sargent enforcing cleanliness, but I am saying that we need to ask ourselves is what we r doing right now representing the Lord well? Are we simply doing what we want, or r we doing things as unto the Lord? Are we being careless and selfish in our efforts or r we using that time to be a blessing to our family or our hard working husbands? Is what you're doing ministering to your family?
Let's all be good stewards of the people we are entrusted with, the things the Lord has blessed us with, the time we have, and see our part as not some meaningless task but a way of blessing those around us! There's no greater calling than being a mother, and to get to stay at home is just the icing on the cake! Let's represent the Lord well in all we do, in word and in deed, do everything as unto the Lord, knowing that He will bless the work of our hands, cause our families and relationships to grow and prosper and that when we stand before Him we will know that we did the best we could with what he gave us. Even if we never get a thank you, the Lord sees our diligence and will reward all the tireless hours we put in serving not only our families, but ultimately His children and that we did it with a heart that was selfless and full of love.
Being a sahm is no easy task for anyone, and I'd venture to say it's not everyone's cup of tea. I love being a sahm...well, most of the time, and it has it's challenges like anything else. I use to look at staying at home as a tedious, never ending, thankless job that involved me doing the same thing day in and day out, over and over and over again with nothing to look forward to. Since moving to CO, I have found a new perspective in so many areas, this being one of them. Staying at home isn't just something we do, it is a huge way we can minister to our families! I am in no way claiming to have it all together, anyone who really knows me can vouch for that, but what I am claiming is that there is, and could possibly be, another way of looking at this thing we do as women, wives, mothers, caretakers and homemakers.
Growing up, cleanliness was next to Godliness in my house. I was taught that everything had a proper place. To this day I still follow that, it was just engrained into me, but now I do it for different reasons. I feel that being a sahm is a privilege. I am very thankful that the Lord has given me the opportunity to do so and that my husband works his butt off so that I can stay at home. With that said, I believe it is my responsibility to not only stay at home, but to make my house a home. A home that is warm and welcoming, free of clutter, messes everywhere u turn, a place my husband can come home to and truly relax after a hard days work and doesn't have to be concerned with the things of the home. I stay at home, and that's the least I can do to not only be a good steward of the things and responsibilities the Lord has given me but to also show my husband that I love him, value him and appreciate all the hard work he does. I'm no Mary Poppins, but I do believe that as a homemaker and caretaker, my #1 priority (other than to God) is to truly take care of the one's, and the things I have, to show the Lord I can be faithful in the little things and that I don't take those things lightly or for granted.
I think simply what it boils down to is priorities and perspective. Lots of sahm's would rather hang out with friends or go shopping, and those things are fine in moderation, but I don't feel that they are productive or that they should be our main concern or priority. If we have spent all day hanging out, shopping or whatever, we are not using our time wisely, we are being careless in our efforts and what do we have to show for it? We are living in a home and most of the time a life that is dysfunctional, out of sorts, chaotic, has no rhyme or reason to anything and where we just fly on the tail of our shirt everyday. Our lives and homes need to be a place that if the Lord were to walk in, we wouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed of the way we have taken care of things. Granted, we don't need to be sticklers and be overly concerned, but we do need to make it a top priority just as we do our time with the Lord. I'm not saying things need to be spotless and you need to be a drill Sargent enforcing cleanliness, but I am saying that we need to ask ourselves is what we r doing right now representing the Lord well? Are we simply doing what we want, or r we doing things as unto the Lord? Are we being careless and selfish in our efforts or r we using that time to be a blessing to our family or our hard working husbands? Is what you're doing ministering to your family?
Let's all be good stewards of the people we are entrusted with, the things the Lord has blessed us with, the time we have, and see our part as not some meaningless task but a way of blessing those around us! There's no greater calling than being a mother, and to get to stay at home is just the icing on the cake! Let's represent the Lord well in all we do, in word and in deed, do everything as unto the Lord, knowing that He will bless the work of our hands, cause our families and relationships to grow and prosper and that when we stand before Him we will know that we did the best we could with what he gave us. Even if we never get a thank you, the Lord sees our diligence and will reward all the tireless hours we put in serving not only our families, but ultimately His children and that we did it with a heart that was selfless and full of love.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Forgiveness...A Hard Pill to Swallow
Forgiveness and humility...what does it really mean and look like in everyday life? I got a very good picture of that last night from my 7 year old son.
Josiah, my oldest son, is such a good boy and blessing from the Lord, he really does have such a beautiful heart, is kind to everyone, is my "social butterfly," and shows me everyday what loving others looks like. With that said, he is also so much like me, sometimes it drives me crazy. He has a very strong personality, is very vocal in how he feels and what his beliefs are that it can sometimes come across the wrong way. I get that in him, but sometimes because we are both so vocal, it can cause disagreements, arguments and hard feelings because we both want to be right in a situation. He has a hard time submitting to what I say sometimes, maybe it's because of his strong will, or maybe it's also because of the innate desire God has placed in all boys/men to lead and be in control? Whatever the reason, we sometimes "butt heads," and last night was one of those nights.
Last night I told Josiah to do something that he just didn't want to do. He, not wanting to, made it very obvious and vocal that he didn't want to. It wasn't something big, and I could've let it go, but I didn't. I have felt very disrespected lately and so I was trying to "stand my ground" if you will by not giving in and letting him get his way. Minutes later he came out crying and explaining to me why he didn't want to do what I asked him to do. I had already had a long day, was feeling very hormonal and tired and just snapped. I said things that I shouldn't have said to him, and it reminded me a lot of my childhood. In that moment, I said things I wish I could now take back. I know first hand how badly words hurt, how they can cut deeper than a knife, are very hard to forget and can scar you for a lifetime. I immediately began feeling like I deserved the "worst mother of the year award," feeling condemned and just horrible inside. Hearing him cry out of that hurt place just made it even more painful for the both of us.
So, I did what I thought I should do. I crawled up in his bed, sobbing, asking the Lord under my breath to forgive me and to please help/change me because I do not want to be the person and say the things my parents spoke over me. I then proceeded to talk to him about forgiveness and that we need to forgive those people that have hurt us, including me! Btw, that's a hard pill to swallow when u have to humble yourself and ask your child for forgiveness. He then started telling me about all the people that have hurt, done or said mean things to him. It broke my heart. He then looked at me and said "Mommy, I forgive you!" and gave me a big hug. Next he proceeded to pray for all the people that have said or done anything that's hurt him. His prayer went like this:
"God, I forgive all the people that have ever hurt me. I ask that you would bless them, that you would help them to have a good school year this year and that you would give them everything they need. In Jesus name, amen!"
Talk about humility! Wow! My 7 year old not only forgave those people, but asked the Lord to bless them and supply their needs...things I'm not sure sometimes I would be able to pray. In that moment, he showed me in the flesh what forgiveness really looks like, the way Jesus forgave us and blesses us in spite of the way we treat him, the way we think he is, and the things we say to him when we don't get our way. I went in there trying to teach him something about the Lord and forgiveness, but he ended up teaching me something much more valuable and humbling me beyond words. May we always keep our hearts humbled, be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and have that childlike faith that can overlook a matter and just love others, accepting them and their faults.
Josiah, my oldest son, is such a good boy and blessing from the Lord, he really does have such a beautiful heart, is kind to everyone, is my "social butterfly," and shows me everyday what loving others looks like. With that said, he is also so much like me, sometimes it drives me crazy. He has a very strong personality, is very vocal in how he feels and what his beliefs are that it can sometimes come across the wrong way. I get that in him, but sometimes because we are both so vocal, it can cause disagreements, arguments and hard feelings because we both want to be right in a situation. He has a hard time submitting to what I say sometimes, maybe it's because of his strong will, or maybe it's also because of the innate desire God has placed in all boys/men to lead and be in control? Whatever the reason, we sometimes "butt heads," and last night was one of those nights.
Last night I told Josiah to do something that he just didn't want to do. He, not wanting to, made it very obvious and vocal that he didn't want to. It wasn't something big, and I could've let it go, but I didn't. I have felt very disrespected lately and so I was trying to "stand my ground" if you will by not giving in and letting him get his way. Minutes later he came out crying and explaining to me why he didn't want to do what I asked him to do. I had already had a long day, was feeling very hormonal and tired and just snapped. I said things that I shouldn't have said to him, and it reminded me a lot of my childhood. In that moment, I said things I wish I could now take back. I know first hand how badly words hurt, how they can cut deeper than a knife, are very hard to forget and can scar you for a lifetime. I immediately began feeling like I deserved the "worst mother of the year award," feeling condemned and just horrible inside. Hearing him cry out of that hurt place just made it even more painful for the both of us.
So, I did what I thought I should do. I crawled up in his bed, sobbing, asking the Lord under my breath to forgive me and to please help/change me because I do not want to be the person and say the things my parents spoke over me. I then proceeded to talk to him about forgiveness and that we need to forgive those people that have hurt us, including me! Btw, that's a hard pill to swallow when u have to humble yourself and ask your child for forgiveness. He then started telling me about all the people that have hurt, done or said mean things to him. It broke my heart. He then looked at me and said "Mommy, I forgive you!" and gave me a big hug. Next he proceeded to pray for all the people that have said or done anything that's hurt him. His prayer went like this:
"God, I forgive all the people that have ever hurt me. I ask that you would bless them, that you would help them to have a good school year this year and that you would give them everything they need. In Jesus name, amen!"
Talk about humility! Wow! My 7 year old not only forgave those people, but asked the Lord to bless them and supply their needs...things I'm not sure sometimes I would be able to pray. In that moment, he showed me in the flesh what forgiveness really looks like, the way Jesus forgave us and blesses us in spite of the way we treat him, the way we think he is, and the things we say to him when we don't get our way. I went in there trying to teach him something about the Lord and forgiveness, but he ended up teaching me something much more valuable and humbling me beyond words. May we always keep our hearts humbled, be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and have that childlike faith that can overlook a matter and just love others, accepting them and their faults.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Blessed or Stressed?
Recently I have been asking the Lord to help me open my mind, to take down any barriers or wrong mindsets that I may have. He has been doing a lot of that over the last year and a half and I have just felt some sort of block that I haven't seemed to be able to put my finger on. A good friend of mine recommended a book to me the other day by Robert G. Allen called "Creating Wealth" that I began reading last night and I couldn't put it down. I saw how many wrong mindsets I have had about money, the "American dream," the way to get there and how backwards our culture is about it. There are a select few who actually achieve that dream, who have a completely different mindset, not just about money but about life in general. What makes them so different for us? Why do some people seem to really excel in life and finances while others slave away day in and day out of a job they hate, missing precious and valuable time with their friends and family, thinking that the harder they work, the closer they will get to their dream? I am realizing many things: the goal is not to work harder, but to work smarter, to let the Holy Spirit lead and guide us into all truth, every decision we make, and that we will not just do something because it's what we think we need to do to survive and get by. We need to find a way to tap into the unlimited resources God has already made available to us through His son! God is not "El Cheapo", He IS "El Shaddai," the God of more than enough! He does not lack anything in any way. Everything he does in in an abundance, surplus, overflows, and running over!!
Deut. 28:1-8 says "If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you."
If we are God's children, all these things are not only available to us, but they are ours for the taking, bought and paid for by Jesus, and for us not to live this way is actually an insult to what Jesus paid with his own life for us to have! When we follow the Lord and his leading, he has promised to provide ALL of our needs according to HIS riches in Glory by Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19), so we need not worry or try and figure out how it's all going to work out. God's word is true...period! He can not lie! If he says he's going to take care of you and supply everything you need, then trust him and let him do that! He is capable to handling it all and never intended for us to carry that heavy load and burden.
Nehemiah 9: 24-25 says "So the people went in and possessed the land; You subdued before them the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, and gave them into their hands, with their kings and the people of the land, that they might do with them as they wished.And they took strong cities and a rich land, and possessed houses full of all goods, cisterns already dug, vineyards, olive groves, and fruit trees in abundance. So they ate and were filled and grew fat, And delighted themselves in Your great goodness."
Not only will God provide, but he has already prepared the way before you. I love this verse because it talks about how even before they got there, God had provided them with houses that they did not build, wells they did not dig, olive trees they did not grow, etc!! God will cause other people to put in the work before hand so you can receive the blessings he has for you without all the blood, sweat and tears!!!
I am in no way against working. In fact the Lord tells us if we don't work, we won't eat, that He blesses the work of our hands, and that he gives us the power and ability to get wealth. What I am saying is that we need to make sure we are doing and moving towards the Lord's calling and not allowing ourselves to be stuck, thinking we can do it all ourselves and work ourselves to death to get ahead. God wants us to work, yes, BUT he also needs us to let go of trying to figure it all out, working ourselves into the ground and just let him take care of us by following his leading. God is not glorified when we are just merely surving instead of thriving, sick, depressed, in strife, and our whole world is falling apart. Sure we all want the blessings of God, but how many of us are really willing to let go of the control, wrong mindsets, surrender our plans and completely trust the Lord? Or take him at his word? I want to be a doer of the word and not merely a hearer! It is my desire to follow the Lord wherever he leads, even if it doesn't make sense, and I know by doing so he WILL bless me and my family and that his word will never return void!
Deut. 28:1-8 says "If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you."
If we are God's children, all these things are not only available to us, but they are ours for the taking, bought and paid for by Jesus, and for us not to live this way is actually an insult to what Jesus paid with his own life for us to have! When we follow the Lord and his leading, he has promised to provide ALL of our needs according to HIS riches in Glory by Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19), so we need not worry or try and figure out how it's all going to work out. God's word is true...period! He can not lie! If he says he's going to take care of you and supply everything you need, then trust him and let him do that! He is capable to handling it all and never intended for us to carry that heavy load and burden.
Nehemiah 9: 24-25 says "So the people went in and possessed the land; You subdued before them the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, and gave them into their hands, with their kings and the people of the land, that they might do with them as they wished.And they took strong cities and a rich land, and possessed houses full of all goods, cisterns already dug, vineyards, olive groves, and fruit trees in abundance. So they ate and were filled and grew fat, And delighted themselves in Your great goodness."
Not only will God provide, but he has already prepared the way before you. I love this verse because it talks about how even before they got there, God had provided them with houses that they did not build, wells they did not dig, olive trees they did not grow, etc!! God will cause other people to put in the work before hand so you can receive the blessings he has for you without all the blood, sweat and tears!!!
I am in no way against working. In fact the Lord tells us if we don't work, we won't eat, that He blesses the work of our hands, and that he gives us the power and ability to get wealth. What I am saying is that we need to make sure we are doing and moving towards the Lord's calling and not allowing ourselves to be stuck, thinking we can do it all ourselves and work ourselves to death to get ahead. God wants us to work, yes, BUT he also needs us to let go of trying to figure it all out, working ourselves into the ground and just let him take care of us by following his leading. God is not glorified when we are just merely surving instead of thriving, sick, depressed, in strife, and our whole world is falling apart. Sure we all want the blessings of God, but how many of us are really willing to let go of the control, wrong mindsets, surrender our plans and completely trust the Lord? Or take him at his word? I want to be a doer of the word and not merely a hearer! It is my desire to follow the Lord wherever he leads, even if it doesn't make sense, and I know by doing so he WILL bless me and my family and that his word will never return void!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
A Thankful Heart
I've been just thinking about how good the Lord is and has been in my life so I wanted to share a few things that I am very thankful and grateful for!
1.My God-I could go on and on about how good God has been to me throughout my life and we would be here for weeks, but I will just share what's been going on lately that I am thankful for. I am thankful for His love, mercy, grace, kindness, provision and for being true to his word. It has been a loooong time coming, but in just 3 weeks, my husband will finally be signing up to attend Bible College full time, and it will be paid for in full!!! We were disobedient when the Lord told us almost 9 years ago to come to CO, allowing friends, family and circumstances to hold us back, but God's calling on our lives has never changed and is irrevocable! God gave us another opportunity to follow him last year, calling us away; we took a huge step of faith and made the plunge, and it has been the best decision we have ever made! Finances were really tough for a while after we moved. People we thought would support us, didn't, and really haven't kept in contact with us like we thought they would...BUT God has always been there and has been faithful. My husband got laid off from his previous job in January this year, but where one door closes, another door opens! God has really promoted him!! He is making almost 3x's what he was making when we first moved here, he is opening doors for him left and right, and we are actually living on 60% of our income better than when we were trying to hoard every penny before. God has changed me, is changing me, has given me a marriage I never thought I would have, a life I truly love, I get to live in one of the most beautiful places in the U.S. and I get to do it with God by my side, leading the way, supplying all our needs, and enjoying this life he created for me!!
2. My husband-Boy, oh boy, am I thankful for this man God has given me. He has seen me at my best and my worst, has fought for me, our marriage, our family, has never taken the easy way out or given up on me, has been an awesome provider, allows me the privilege to stay at home and home school our children, to be the care taker of our home, is my best friend, and am SO glad I get to do this life with him by my side! God truly gave me a gift when he gave Wayne to me, knowing that he would help rub off the rough edges, sharpen the areas that need to be sharpened, and gave me someone who has the same desires and passions for life that I do! God has renewed my love for him, some days I fall more and more in love with him and can hardly stand it, has humbled me and allows me to serve him, respect him, and finally let him be the head of our home! Things operate so much smoother now that I have let go of the control and give him to God, praying for his success and trying to stay humble when my flesh wants it's own way.
3. My kids-Children really are a blessing from the Lord, even though a lot of times we may take that for granted. My kids have loved me in spite of my rants and yelling at them, keep me humble, have showed me what true forgiveness and love is, make me laugh hysterically, and bring so much joy to me! Just the fact that I get to be with them everyday, teach them and see the efforts of that pay off, I get to feel their little arms wrapped around my neck, receive compliments from them and little sweet kisses enriches my life so much! I am truly blessed to have them as my children! God knew I needed them and that they needed me too!
4. My family and friends-They have seen me at my very best and my very worst and have always chosen to love me through it, encourage me, and lovingly show me areas where I may be missing it. I am thankful that I can always rely on them to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, to encourage me, pray for me, and always point me back to the cross! I am thankful for the friends that still keep in contact with me and show me that no matter the time or distance, they will always have my back!
5. Little things: I find myself being thankful even for little things lately, like a hot shower, a car that runs and operates good (even if it's not exactly the car I want), a bed to sleep in (even if it's not the most comfortable one), that our storehouse is full, a refrigerator full of food, a roof over my head, my family and I are healthy, air in my lungs, we have clean and decent looking clothes to wear, and that I live in a country that's free (for now).
There are so many things we can be thankful for if we just stop and take the time to see them. We are such a blessed nation and people, yet many of us overlook that fact and want more and more, feeling we are entitled to more and that more will make us happy. If we can't be content and enjoy where we are, what we have, who we have, then we never will be! What kinds of things are you thankful for? May we choose everyday to acknowledge the things we DO have and not the things we don't!
1.My God-I could go on and on about how good God has been to me throughout my life and we would be here for weeks, but I will just share what's been going on lately that I am thankful for. I am thankful for His love, mercy, grace, kindness, provision and for being true to his word. It has been a loooong time coming, but in just 3 weeks, my husband will finally be signing up to attend Bible College full time, and it will be paid for in full!!! We were disobedient when the Lord told us almost 9 years ago to come to CO, allowing friends, family and circumstances to hold us back, but God's calling on our lives has never changed and is irrevocable! God gave us another opportunity to follow him last year, calling us away; we took a huge step of faith and made the plunge, and it has been the best decision we have ever made! Finances were really tough for a while after we moved. People we thought would support us, didn't, and really haven't kept in contact with us like we thought they would...BUT God has always been there and has been faithful. My husband got laid off from his previous job in January this year, but where one door closes, another door opens! God has really promoted him!! He is making almost 3x's what he was making when we first moved here, he is opening doors for him left and right, and we are actually living on 60% of our income better than when we were trying to hoard every penny before. God has changed me, is changing me, has given me a marriage I never thought I would have, a life I truly love, I get to live in one of the most beautiful places in the U.S. and I get to do it with God by my side, leading the way, supplying all our needs, and enjoying this life he created for me!!
2. My husband-Boy, oh boy, am I thankful for this man God has given me. He has seen me at my best and my worst, has fought for me, our marriage, our family, has never taken the easy way out or given up on me, has been an awesome provider, allows me the privilege to stay at home and home school our children, to be the care taker of our home, is my best friend, and am SO glad I get to do this life with him by my side! God truly gave me a gift when he gave Wayne to me, knowing that he would help rub off the rough edges, sharpen the areas that need to be sharpened, and gave me someone who has the same desires and passions for life that I do! God has renewed my love for him, some days I fall more and more in love with him and can hardly stand it, has humbled me and allows me to serve him, respect him, and finally let him be the head of our home! Things operate so much smoother now that I have let go of the control and give him to God, praying for his success and trying to stay humble when my flesh wants it's own way.
3. My kids-Children really are a blessing from the Lord, even though a lot of times we may take that for granted. My kids have loved me in spite of my rants and yelling at them, keep me humble, have showed me what true forgiveness and love is, make me laugh hysterically, and bring so much joy to me! Just the fact that I get to be with them everyday, teach them and see the efforts of that pay off, I get to feel their little arms wrapped around my neck, receive compliments from them and little sweet kisses enriches my life so much! I am truly blessed to have them as my children! God knew I needed them and that they needed me too!
4. My family and friends-They have seen me at my very best and my very worst and have always chosen to love me through it, encourage me, and lovingly show me areas where I may be missing it. I am thankful that I can always rely on them to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, to encourage me, pray for me, and always point me back to the cross! I am thankful for the friends that still keep in contact with me and show me that no matter the time or distance, they will always have my back!
5. Little things: I find myself being thankful even for little things lately, like a hot shower, a car that runs and operates good (even if it's not exactly the car I want), a bed to sleep in (even if it's not the most comfortable one), that our storehouse is full, a refrigerator full of food, a roof over my head, my family and I are healthy, air in my lungs, we have clean and decent looking clothes to wear, and that I live in a country that's free (for now).
There are so many things we can be thankful for if we just stop and take the time to see them. We are such a blessed nation and people, yet many of us overlook that fact and want more and more, feeling we are entitled to more and that more will make us happy. If we can't be content and enjoy where we are, what we have, who we have, then we never will be! What kinds of things are you thankful for? May we choose everyday to acknowledge the things we DO have and not the things we don't!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Stepping Up to the Plate
Recently, everything that has been going on in the news, along with things the Lord has been speaking to me personally over the last few months has really got me thinking about "the last days" even more. I believe we are starting to experience the "birth pains" of the earth. This past Saturday, there was a fire that started burning here in CO across town. Within the last 3 days, it has burned over 15,000 acres and over 32,000 people have had to be evacuated from their homes, some of them friends of ours. I also know of 12 other fires going on, the tropical storm around FL, all the earthquakes, tsunamis, nations coming against Israel, persecution, wars/rumors of wars, famines, people being lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, familes turning against each other, everything that the Bible says will happen in the last days, is happening now.
Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, "I am the Christ," and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:4-8—NIV)
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. (1 Thessalonians 5:2,3—NIV)
Since I was probably a young teenager, I have been very interested in end time events and I believe that the Lord is going to return sometime during my lifetime. The Lord has spoken to me very vividly about such things, and have never openly shared these revelations except with my very close friends until now. When I was about 15, the Lord gave me a dream and showed me part of what the tribulation was going to look like; fire everywhere, people in sheer chaos, people trying to run and hide, trying to live inside of mountains, people being tortured worse than they were in the days when Hitler was in power, people being killed merely for the sake of being a Christian, and death and destruction were everywhere.
Back in March, while talking to a friend/mentor of mine back in VA, the Lord gave me a vision and showed me that the earth is groaning, experiencing turmoil and natural disasters, and it is because it is going through labor pains; it is literally about to give birth to the anit-Christ, death and destruction. Then two weeks ago, I had a vision and saw Jesus coming on the clouds. Immediately I said "no Lord, I'm not ready!" Not that I personally am not ready, but I believe there is still a lot of work that still needs to be done and people that need to hear the goodness of God.
I am not writing this to scare anyone, and I am no way "preaching doom and gloom," or that the world is ending. I know there are a lot of skeptical people out there. I can't speak to any skeptics, but I can speak from my own experience. A little over 2 years ago I felt the Lord calling me a "Daniel," a prophet to the nations. Daniel was a prophet of God who the Lord spoke to/through to fast, pray and speak the things of God to people, kings and nations. I have always felt that God has given me the gift of prophecy and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I hear the Lord and take heed to the things he reveals to me. The Lord has always spoken to me very vividly through dreams and visions, and I have already had at least 10-12 of them come to pass, so even if no one else believes, I believe! I believe the Lord shows me things like this to prepare myself, other people, and to give us a prayer point on specific things to be praying for or against. The Lord is good and faithful. I know all of these things are from the enemy because he comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy BUT God has come that we may have life and have it in abundance(John 10:10)! God wishes that no one should perish, and regardless of what you think, time is drawing to a close. This isn't a dress rehearsal people, this is the real deal!
I am writing this to challenge people to think about the things that are really important in this life; family, friends and lives. What can, and should we be doing to reach out to a lost and dying world, to share to good news of Jesus with people, to be the hands, feet and mouthpiece of God while we are here on this earth? Life isn't about all the stuff we have, it's about who we have. Having these fires so close to home has definitely opened my own eyes to how precious and short this life is, how in an instant all the possesions and things you think are important can be gone, and what I can do to make the most of the time I do have here. God has sent us here on a mission, not to sit back and say "Oh, thats too bad," or simply "I'll be praying for you," but to actually do something, to get outside of ourselves, our comforts, our wants and desires and help those in need. I'm going to step up my game and up to the plate, are you? Will we hear God say one day "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" and will we have done the best we could've done with what we were given, or will we come to the end of life full of regrets and lots of stuff, nothing of real value to show for? Lots to think about....
Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, "I am the Christ," and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:4-8—NIV)
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. (1 Thessalonians 5:2,3—NIV)
Since I was probably a young teenager, I have been very interested in end time events and I believe that the Lord is going to return sometime during my lifetime. The Lord has spoken to me very vividly about such things, and have never openly shared these revelations except with my very close friends until now. When I was about 15, the Lord gave me a dream and showed me part of what the tribulation was going to look like; fire everywhere, people in sheer chaos, people trying to run and hide, trying to live inside of mountains, people being tortured worse than they were in the days when Hitler was in power, people being killed merely for the sake of being a Christian, and death and destruction were everywhere.
Back in March, while talking to a friend/mentor of mine back in VA, the Lord gave me a vision and showed me that the earth is groaning, experiencing turmoil and natural disasters, and it is because it is going through labor pains; it is literally about to give birth to the anit-Christ, death and destruction. Then two weeks ago, I had a vision and saw Jesus coming on the clouds. Immediately I said "no Lord, I'm not ready!" Not that I personally am not ready, but I believe there is still a lot of work that still needs to be done and people that need to hear the goodness of God.
I am not writing this to scare anyone, and I am no way "preaching doom and gloom," or that the world is ending. I know there are a lot of skeptical people out there. I can't speak to any skeptics, but I can speak from my own experience. A little over 2 years ago I felt the Lord calling me a "Daniel," a prophet to the nations. Daniel was a prophet of God who the Lord spoke to/through to fast, pray and speak the things of God to people, kings and nations. I have always felt that God has given me the gift of prophecy and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I hear the Lord and take heed to the things he reveals to me. The Lord has always spoken to me very vividly through dreams and visions, and I have already had at least 10-12 of them come to pass, so even if no one else believes, I believe! I believe the Lord shows me things like this to prepare myself, other people, and to give us a prayer point on specific things to be praying for or against. The Lord is good and faithful. I know all of these things are from the enemy because he comes ONLY to steal, kill and destroy BUT God has come that we may have life and have it in abundance(John 10:10)! God wishes that no one should perish, and regardless of what you think, time is drawing to a close. This isn't a dress rehearsal people, this is the real deal!
I am writing this to challenge people to think about the things that are really important in this life; family, friends and lives. What can, and should we be doing to reach out to a lost and dying world, to share to good news of Jesus with people, to be the hands, feet and mouthpiece of God while we are here on this earth? Life isn't about all the stuff we have, it's about who we have. Having these fires so close to home has definitely opened my own eyes to how precious and short this life is, how in an instant all the possesions and things you think are important can be gone, and what I can do to make the most of the time I do have here. God has sent us here on a mission, not to sit back and say "Oh, thats too bad," or simply "I'll be praying for you," but to actually do something, to get outside of ourselves, our comforts, our wants and desires and help those in need. I'm going to step up my game and up to the plate, are you? Will we hear God say one day "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" and will we have done the best we could've done with what we were given, or will we come to the end of life full of regrets and lots of stuff, nothing of real value to show for? Lots to think about....
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
The last couple months have been a roller coaster of emotions. I have really missed my friends and family back home, A LOT! My parents came out to CO last week to visit, and I have been counting down the days since they bought their plane tickets!!
Family means more to me now then it ever has, and it's sad that up until the last year or so that I have really taken their closeness for granted. My parents have always been there for me, no matter what! They have loved me even when I couldn't see it, fought for me, supported me in more ways than one, always encouraged me in the Lord, always been around to help me fix little problems that arise, my dad has been my personal mechanic, my mom was there for the births of our sons, and have always been within a 5 mile radius of me for almost my entire life. Sure, we have butted heads on numerous occasions, I have held grudges against them for being too hard on me at times, for showing what I felt like at the time was favoritism to my sister, been mad at them for being too "protective," and said/done things I really regret. And yet, because they have always been there, I have never really sat and thought about how lucky I am to have them in my life and how much they truly mean to me.
Last night I asked God to show me His love in a new and tangible way. Tonight, after everyone else was in bed, my dad and I sat up and talked as we often do. Growing up, I was never really close to my dad. He was always there for me when I needed him, but he was also very distanced emotionally and I never really understood the reasons behind it. I knew he'd had a rough background and upbringing but tonight it really struck a chord in me.
Tonight, I listened to my dad go into detail and describe how my grandfather (his father) was shot and killed, the anger and hatred he had in his heart, how he has been able to forgive and even eat with the very man that murdered his dad, and some of the tragedies he has gone through in his life. I have never met my dads parents, they both died long before I was born, yet I have always felt a deep love and connection to them that I can't explain. I remember visiting their grave site years ago, breaking down and sobbing, feeling mad and deprived that their lives were cut short and I'd never got to experience a life with them, and that my children would never get to experience a life with them one day either. As I listened to my dad, tears streaming down my face, as they still are, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of love for my parents, compassion for their lives, sorrow for all their past experiences, how I didn't have it nearly as bad as I thought growing up, and I saw a facet of my heavenly father through my dad tonight; a loving father who wants to fellowship with me, who can't wait to open up and share his heart with me, and who has always welcomed me with open arms even though I have wounded him deeply. Listening to my dad made me very sorry for everything I've ever done or said to hurt my parents and my heavenly father; not in a condemning way but in a sorrowful way, a way that makes me realize how precious time is and what a gift family and friends really are! At the same time, it made me miss them even more, knowing I only have a couple days left with them until they fly back home.
Tonight I realized that in the past, I have been far too selfish, judgmental, condemning, wasted too much time being angry or bitter at how I was/wasn't treated, and cared more about myself that I couldn't see just how amazing my family really is, and just like I saw a new side of my dad, I also saw a new side of my heavenly father; a side that is overwhelming with love, a love that breaks down any and all walls, barriers, preconceived ideas, a love that forgives, keeps no record of wrongs, hopes the best and is the very picture of 1 Cor. 13. Thank God that he has promised to restore to me ALL the things that the enemy has stolen from me, including wasted years and broken relationships! Don't let life pass you by before you allow yourself to love and be loved, to truly enjoy the gifts God has put in your life, and before you really get to know the people around you. Their story might just change your perspective AND your life!!
Family means more to me now then it ever has, and it's sad that up until the last year or so that I have really taken their closeness for granted. My parents have always been there for me, no matter what! They have loved me even when I couldn't see it, fought for me, supported me in more ways than one, always encouraged me in the Lord, always been around to help me fix little problems that arise, my dad has been my personal mechanic, my mom was there for the births of our sons, and have always been within a 5 mile radius of me for almost my entire life. Sure, we have butted heads on numerous occasions, I have held grudges against them for being too hard on me at times, for showing what I felt like at the time was favoritism to my sister, been mad at them for being too "protective," and said/done things I really regret. And yet, because they have always been there, I have never really sat and thought about how lucky I am to have them in my life and how much they truly mean to me.
Last night I asked God to show me His love in a new and tangible way. Tonight, after everyone else was in bed, my dad and I sat up and talked as we often do. Growing up, I was never really close to my dad. He was always there for me when I needed him, but he was also very distanced emotionally and I never really understood the reasons behind it. I knew he'd had a rough background and upbringing but tonight it really struck a chord in me.
Tonight, I listened to my dad go into detail and describe how my grandfather (his father) was shot and killed, the anger and hatred he had in his heart, how he has been able to forgive and even eat with the very man that murdered his dad, and some of the tragedies he has gone through in his life. I have never met my dads parents, they both died long before I was born, yet I have always felt a deep love and connection to them that I can't explain. I remember visiting their grave site years ago, breaking down and sobbing, feeling mad and deprived that their lives were cut short and I'd never got to experience a life with them, and that my children would never get to experience a life with them one day either. As I listened to my dad, tears streaming down my face, as they still are, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of love for my parents, compassion for their lives, sorrow for all their past experiences, how I didn't have it nearly as bad as I thought growing up, and I saw a facet of my heavenly father through my dad tonight; a loving father who wants to fellowship with me, who can't wait to open up and share his heart with me, and who has always welcomed me with open arms even though I have wounded him deeply. Listening to my dad made me very sorry for everything I've ever done or said to hurt my parents and my heavenly father; not in a condemning way but in a sorrowful way, a way that makes me realize how precious time is and what a gift family and friends really are! At the same time, it made me miss them even more, knowing I only have a couple days left with them until they fly back home.
Tonight I realized that in the past, I have been far too selfish, judgmental, condemning, wasted too much time being angry or bitter at how I was/wasn't treated, and cared more about myself that I couldn't see just how amazing my family really is, and just like I saw a new side of my dad, I also saw a new side of my heavenly father; a side that is overwhelming with love, a love that breaks down any and all walls, barriers, preconceived ideas, a love that forgives, keeps no record of wrongs, hopes the best and is the very picture of 1 Cor. 13. Thank God that he has promised to restore to me ALL the things that the enemy has stolen from me, including wasted years and broken relationships! Don't let life pass you by before you allow yourself to love and be loved, to truly enjoy the gifts God has put in your life, and before you really get to know the people around you. Their story might just change your perspective AND your life!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I Know the Plans I have for YOU....
Since moving to Colorado, part of my heart still felt as if it were back home in VA. About a year before we moved God started showing me what I am called to do, to help pull people out of their deepest, darkest pits and help set them free so they can rise/soar to new heights. I started becoming more involved in the women's ministry at our church. Then, just as I was asked to step up and become a leader, the Lord called Wayne and I here. It really was bittersweet and I felt like I had just found my niche.
After moving here, I began asking the Lord to help me get plugged into a women's ministry. I emailed a woman who has a worldwide ministry here to see if she could help me navigate and find a good place but that was of little help. Then, I felt the Lord stirring in me for me to start something small. The church we attend does have a women's ministry but I can't get plugged in because I homeschool our kids and they are too old for the childcare. I approached the pastor and asked him about starting something small and that idea was pretty much shot down. Then, I got plugged in with some other women, but because our core beliefs are so different, I felt as if I needed to take a step back.
A couple weeks ago I had a breakdown. One of those times where you are sobbing; you just feel alone, like you have tried and tried to make friends and get plugged in and every door keeps closing. Part of me wanted to go back to VA; back where I was loved and accepted, where people actually listened to me, I felt little persecution for my beliefs and where I was being used...a place really of comfort. Long story short, the boys and I were able to fly home (courtesy of the Lord) and I had been asking the Lord for closure. While back home, I got the closure I needed: God has me right where he needs me, that I was no longer needed back home, and that he was doing something new!
Since coming back, there have been days where I have still felt alone even though I know the Lord is with me and up to something. I have been judged, my own salvation has been questioned by other believers and have felt under attack in so many areas of life. Then this morning, as I was listening to Joyce Meyer, I began to feel discouraged and asked the Lord "when is my ministry going to start? When are you going to start using me and bringing me people that want to hear what I have to say?" My heart has, and will always be longing to be used by the Lord. I want to fulfill my calling and help set people free from their mindsets, bondages, sins, and point them to the Lord! I don't simply want to take up space. I was so frustrated and 'lo and behold, the Lord connected me with a friend, someone who I truly love but have been distanced from because of our lives moving so fast and for a lot of other reasons. The Lord heard the cry of my heart and brought me someone that I can begin ministering to, lifting up, encouraging and can be there to spur them on in their walk with Christ! I may not have a women's "ministry" or group to attend but God can still use me even if I'm not in the most desired place/setting. All he needs is a willing vessel and he will make a way!
Thank you Lord that even though other doors have closed and haven't worked out the way I would've liked them to, you still care enough about me to make a way, to bring those people to me, and you have a plan and purpose for my life; to impact the kingdom and help set the captives free!! You are so good!!
For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NASB)
After moving here, I began asking the Lord to help me get plugged into a women's ministry. I emailed a woman who has a worldwide ministry here to see if she could help me navigate and find a good place but that was of little help. Then, I felt the Lord stirring in me for me to start something small. The church we attend does have a women's ministry but I can't get plugged in because I homeschool our kids and they are too old for the childcare. I approached the pastor and asked him about starting something small and that idea was pretty much shot down. Then, I got plugged in with some other women, but because our core beliefs are so different, I felt as if I needed to take a step back.
A couple weeks ago I had a breakdown. One of those times where you are sobbing; you just feel alone, like you have tried and tried to make friends and get plugged in and every door keeps closing. Part of me wanted to go back to VA; back where I was loved and accepted, where people actually listened to me, I felt little persecution for my beliefs and where I was being used...a place really of comfort. Long story short, the boys and I were able to fly home (courtesy of the Lord) and I had been asking the Lord for closure. While back home, I got the closure I needed: God has me right where he needs me, that I was no longer needed back home, and that he was doing something new!
Since coming back, there have been days where I have still felt alone even though I know the Lord is with me and up to something. I have been judged, my own salvation has been questioned by other believers and have felt under attack in so many areas of life. Then this morning, as I was listening to Joyce Meyer, I began to feel discouraged and asked the Lord "when is my ministry going to start? When are you going to start using me and bringing me people that want to hear what I have to say?" My heart has, and will always be longing to be used by the Lord. I want to fulfill my calling and help set people free from their mindsets, bondages, sins, and point them to the Lord! I don't simply want to take up space. I was so frustrated and 'lo and behold, the Lord connected me with a friend, someone who I truly love but have been distanced from because of our lives moving so fast and for a lot of other reasons. The Lord heard the cry of my heart and brought me someone that I can begin ministering to, lifting up, encouraging and can be there to spur them on in their walk with Christ! I may not have a women's "ministry" or group to attend but God can still use me even if I'm not in the most desired place/setting. All he needs is a willing vessel and he will make a way!
Thank you Lord that even though other doors have closed and haven't worked out the way I would've liked them to, you still care enough about me to make a way, to bring those people to me, and you have a plan and purpose for my life; to impact the kingdom and help set the captives free!! You are so good!!
For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NASB)
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Blessed Beyond Belief
Recently I have really felt blessed, humbled and deeply loved by the Lord and how he has used friends and even complete strangers to bless me and my family. I have been believing for months for the Lord to make a way for me to go back home to VA and visit my family and friends. Don't get
me wrong, I absolutely love Colorado but I feel like a piece of my heart is still in VA. I wanted to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and neither of those worked out. So, I have been waiting and hopefully expecting the Lord to make a way and lo and behold he has! Without going into a bunch of details, the Lord made a way not only for me to fly home, but for my boys to come with me free of charge! God really does give us the desires of our hearts and truly does care about what we care about! Nothing is impossible with God, especially when we trust him, believe his word, stand on his promises and expect to see his goodness in our lives!
As if that wasn't enough, today he used a complete stranger to humble me and melt my heart. While in the check out line at Target picking up some milk and a couple things I needed, I told the boys they could each pick out one piece of candy. We were waiting for the woman in front of me to check out so we had a little time. Then it was my turn, with an impatient man standing behind me, looking at the boys who were still trying to decide, then looking at me with that tone of voice in his facial expressions as if to say "Listen lady, I'm in a hurry, so can we hurry it up here?!" I told them to hurry up because I had to pay right now! Josiah picked his out, handed it to me, but Micah was still trying to decide....and Mr. Wonderful behind me was now giving me the stank eye, huffing and puffing and rolling his eyes. So, I did what I had to do and payed for Josiah's candy, only! As soon as the cashier handed me the receipt, Micah came up
To me with his candy, at which point I told him it was too late and he couldn't get it. He started crying and was so upset, not like throwing a fit upset, but his heart was broken kind of crying. i tried to explain the situation, the guy behind me was rushing me along and that he had plenty of opportunity to pick something out. Just as we got into the car and buckled up, a guy came up to the car and knocked on the window. He was behind Mr. Wonderful in the line and saw the whole situation. He decided to buy Micah the candy he had picked out and told me "I saw how hard he was trying to decide!" I was completely humbled and couldn't believe a complete stranger cared enough about my son to buy him a piece of candy. Insignificant and such a small thing in the grand scheme of life, but something at the moment that showed my son someone cared, and showed me once again that God cares about the smallest details, every desire, and will use anybody who is a willing vessel to bless us.
The point of all of this is to say that it has really made me want to be more conscious and aware of ways I can be used by the Lord to bless others, even if it's in a small way. God blesses us not so we can hoard material possessions and be selfish, but so we can in turn be a blessing to others and be the light of Christ and show his love to the world. Jesus came to serve and not be served, and it truly is better to give than to receive! Maybe if we slowed down long enough to see the needs of others, we could not only be a blessing to them, but find true fulfillment and joy ourselves!!
me wrong, I absolutely love Colorado but I feel like a piece of my heart is still in VA. I wanted to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and neither of those worked out. So, I have been waiting and hopefully expecting the Lord to make a way and lo and behold he has! Without going into a bunch of details, the Lord made a way not only for me to fly home, but for my boys to come with me free of charge! God really does give us the desires of our hearts and truly does care about what we care about! Nothing is impossible with God, especially when we trust him, believe his word, stand on his promises and expect to see his goodness in our lives!
As if that wasn't enough, today he used a complete stranger to humble me and melt my heart. While in the check out line at Target picking up some milk and a couple things I needed, I told the boys they could each pick out one piece of candy. We were waiting for the woman in front of me to check out so we had a little time. Then it was my turn, with an impatient man standing behind me, looking at the boys who were still trying to decide, then looking at me with that tone of voice in his facial expressions as if to say "Listen lady, I'm in a hurry, so can we hurry it up here?!" I told them to hurry up because I had to pay right now! Josiah picked his out, handed it to me, but Micah was still trying to decide....and Mr. Wonderful behind me was now giving me the stank eye, huffing and puffing and rolling his eyes. So, I did what I had to do and payed for Josiah's candy, only! As soon as the cashier handed me the receipt, Micah came up
To me with his candy, at which point I told him it was too late and he couldn't get it. He started crying and was so upset, not like throwing a fit upset, but his heart was broken kind of crying. i tried to explain the situation, the guy behind me was rushing me along and that he had plenty of opportunity to pick something out. Just as we got into the car and buckled up, a guy came up to the car and knocked on the window. He was behind Mr. Wonderful in the line and saw the whole situation. He decided to buy Micah the candy he had picked out and told me "I saw how hard he was trying to decide!" I was completely humbled and couldn't believe a complete stranger cared enough about my son to buy him a piece of candy. Insignificant and such a small thing in the grand scheme of life, but something at the moment that showed my son someone cared, and showed me once again that God cares about the smallest details, every desire, and will use anybody who is a willing vessel to bless us.
The point of all of this is to say that it has really made me want to be more conscious and aware of ways I can be used by the Lord to bless others, even if it's in a small way. God blesses us not so we can hoard material possessions and be selfish, but so we can in turn be a blessing to others and be the light of Christ and show his love to the world. Jesus came to serve and not be served, and it truly is better to give than to receive! Maybe if we slowed down long enough to see the needs of others, we could not only be a blessing to them, but find true fulfillment and joy ourselves!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
"Can We Please Go Find Some Darkness Now?"
Last night my husband and I were laying in bed watching the Passion 2012 conference online. If you have never heard the music or speakers from the conferences, you are missing out! Last night, they had a guest speaker on that I have heard of before, but had never actually heard her speak. Christine Caine was the speaker and she said something that really got me thinking. I suddenly had an "aha" moment. She told a story of how her daughter had really wanted a Barbie flash light, so she took her to Wal-Mart to get one. While at the register, her daughter turned on the flashlight but the light couldn't be seen clearly because of all the other lights already shining in Wal-Mart. She then tugged on her mommy and said "Mommy, can we please go find some darkness now?" Right then, I got it!
We are suppose to be "the light of the world, a city on a hill" (Matthew 5:14), but are we really being lights to the world? We are called to go into the dark places and be lights, for in the darkness is only where the light can shine through and be seen. I feel that most of us are like the flashlight in WalMart...we are shining, but no one can see us because everyone else around us is shining too. We have become so comfortable and complacent in our church circles and groups of Christian friends, that we have created a "bubble", surrounding ourselves with like-minded people that our lights are dim, or even nonexistent, to the rest of the world around us. I am in no way saying we shouldn't have like-minded people around us, but what I am saying is that we have got to get out of our bubble of friends, family members, places that feel safe and comfortable if we ever want to reach a dying world, help set captives free, and save those who are lost.
Andrew Wommack often says that "we are all called to be salt to the earth; the only problem is nobody wants to get out of the salt shaker!" Once again going back to the fact that we have not only got be willing, but we have to actually act upon what God is calling us to do, and just get out there! Millions of people are lost, dying, broken, poor in spirit, addicted, and wasting away in every sense of the word, and to be quite honest, most of us don't even care because we are too comfortable with where we are, what we have, we don't want to be inconvenienced, and we think it should be someone else's job to help them. I honestly don't understand why we fight so hard to stay where we are with all our "stuff," remaining stagnant, having no real power, authority or victory in our own lives, when we would find so much more fulfillment in meeting the needs of and serving others!
Matthew 6: 19-20 says Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal, But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."
All the "stuff" we try to accumulate, impress ourselves or other people with are eventually either going to be thrown away, given away later, or will simply rot because of the natural process of this earth. Why do we feel the need to accumulate and hold on to things that we can't take with us when we leave this earth, and put off the very one's that are literally rotting away inside, who may never make it to eternity with God? Are people's lives really not as important to us as our "stuff"? That's essentially what we are saying when we refuse to be the light in the dark places, and when we refuse to reach out to a lost and dying world. If we don't go into the darkness, and we aren't being lights to them, who will? You may be the only light someone in this world may ever see! I don't want to live with a guilty conscience, knowing there was so much more I could've done with my life and time here on this earth, and that I just let it all waste away, having no real meaning or value, and that there were dying people all around me and I was too selfish and stubborn to do anything about it. We all want to hear the Lord say to us "Well done my good and faithful servant," but what will we have done with what we were given on this earth to actually deserve to hear those words? Some words to think about....
We are suppose to be "the light of the world, a city on a hill" (Matthew 5:14), but are we really being lights to the world? We are called to go into the dark places and be lights, for in the darkness is only where the light can shine through and be seen. I feel that most of us are like the flashlight in WalMart...we are shining, but no one can see us because everyone else around us is shining too. We have become so comfortable and complacent in our church circles and groups of Christian friends, that we have created a "bubble", surrounding ourselves with like-minded people that our lights are dim, or even nonexistent, to the rest of the world around us. I am in no way saying we shouldn't have like-minded people around us, but what I am saying is that we have got to get out of our bubble of friends, family members, places that feel safe and comfortable if we ever want to reach a dying world, help set captives free, and save those who are lost.
Andrew Wommack often says that "we are all called to be salt to the earth; the only problem is nobody wants to get out of the salt shaker!" Once again going back to the fact that we have not only got be willing, but we have to actually act upon what God is calling us to do, and just get out there! Millions of people are lost, dying, broken, poor in spirit, addicted, and wasting away in every sense of the word, and to be quite honest, most of us don't even care because we are too comfortable with where we are, what we have, we don't want to be inconvenienced, and we think it should be someone else's job to help them. I honestly don't understand why we fight so hard to stay where we are with all our "stuff," remaining stagnant, having no real power, authority or victory in our own lives, when we would find so much more fulfillment in meeting the needs of and serving others!
Matthew 6: 19-20 says Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal, But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."
All the "stuff" we try to accumulate, impress ourselves or other people with are eventually either going to be thrown away, given away later, or will simply rot because of the natural process of this earth. Why do we feel the need to accumulate and hold on to things that we can't take with us when we leave this earth, and put off the very one's that are literally rotting away inside, who may never make it to eternity with God? Are people's lives really not as important to us as our "stuff"? That's essentially what we are saying when we refuse to be the light in the dark places, and when we refuse to reach out to a lost and dying world. If we don't go into the darkness, and we aren't being lights to them, who will? You may be the only light someone in this world may ever see! I don't want to live with a guilty conscience, knowing there was so much more I could've done with my life and time here on this earth, and that I just let it all waste away, having no real meaning or value, and that there were dying people all around me and I was too selfish and stubborn to do anything about it. We all want to hear the Lord say to us "Well done my good and faithful servant," but what will we have done with what we were given on this earth to actually deserve to hear those words? Some words to think about....
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