Injuring the Wounded

The last day or two I have really been thinking about the church as a whole and how we treat one another. I heard a quote about a week ago and have been pondering it ever since that said:

"The church is the only place the wounds the injured."



Looking back on the churches I have gone to, sadly, I have found this to be true. Growing up in church, there was a lot of legalism, rules and regulations. I was taught if you do bad, you get bad, and if you do good, you get good. I specifically remember a time when my parents found out I had lost my virginity, and instead of loving me through that and accepting me as I was, broken and messed up, I was literally embarrassed in front of my church and family, was told I would be put into a girls home, and my life became a living hell. I was put on the prayer list and had people praying for me like there was something wrong with me or I was "possessed." For a long time I wanted nothing to do with God, mainly because I felt, that like everyone else, God was so disappointed and mad at me that he would lash out at me just like everyone else had. Going through all that, along with some other things, it put a very bad taste in my mouth and I was injured even more.

Then there's the church we left who often tells the congregation "If you don't like our church, then you can leave and we'll help you find another one!" I have known countless people who have left this church broken, hurt, wounded and scarred. No one has reached out to them or tried to mend the relationship, no one has stepped up to the plate, taken ownership or even apologized for hurting them. Life goes on there, and you are someone who really never existed to them. They have a goal, to reach the lost, and if you happened to get "injured" by them along the way, oh well... once again, injuring those who are already wounded.

In the bible, I don't ever recall Jesus ignoring anyone, treating them as if they don't matter, using them for his own personal agenda, saying or doing things that would hurt or even scar someone. He is gentle in spirit, humble in his attitude and approach, seeks peace at all costs, heals the brokenhearted, mends relationships, and truly loves people. If we are suppose to look, act, talk and even treat others just as Jesus did, then why aren't we? Why are we so prideful or just plain too busy, that when we see someone is hurting, and we are aware it's partially our fault, that we don't reach out to them and seek peace at all costs? Why do we throw people under the bus and treat those in the body of Christ sometimes worse than we would treat our own family members? Why are we so quick to judge someone else and take things personally, when the bible clearly says that we are to be quick to forgive, and if we have something against someone to go to them and seek peace.

Matthew 18:15 says "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother."

Saint Augustine of Hippo said:

"If someone has done you injury and you have suffered, what should be done? You have heard the answer already in today’s scripture: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” If you fail to do so, you are worse than he is. He has done someone harm, and by doing harm he has stricken himself with a grievous wound. Will you then completely disregard your brother’s wound? Will you simply watch him stumble and fall down? Will you disregard his predicament? If so, you are worse in your silence than he in his abuse. Therefore, when any one sins against us, let us take great care, but not merely for ourselves. For it is a glorious thing to forget injuries. Just set aside your own injury, but do not neglect your brother’s wound. Therefore “go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone,” intent upon his amendment but sparing his sense of shame. For it might happen that through defensiveness he will begin to justify his sin, and so you will have inadvertently nudged him still closer toward the very behavior you desire to amend. Therefore “tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother,” because he might have been lost, had you not spoken with him."

I personally think the Lord looks at the body of Christ and is somewhat saddened by how we at times treat one another and our lack of effort to seek restoration. If there is someone you have hurt or offended, and you are aware of it, I urge you to make every attempt to make peace with that person and heal the relationship. God forbid I am too prideful or uncaring enough to say I'm sorry and lead someone astray. I long to be the best representation of Christ I can be, and that starts with a four letter word we so often take for granted and overuse, "L-O-V-E." May we truly love one another, seek and pursue peace, be willing to lay our own feelings and agendas aside to mend the relationship, and not only reach out to those who are lost, but to those we have injured through our words or actions. The phrase "I'm sorry" can do so much for the wounded heart, so don't be too prideful to say it!